THE ABILITY TO MAKE AND UNDERSTAND PUNS IS
THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF LANGUAGE DEVELOPMENT.
 
The following ten first place winners in an International Pun Contest
were recently posted on the Jug Members Message Board as a "fill in
the blanks" puzzle.  Hold your mouse over the blanks to see the answer
and who guessed it in the contest.
 
 1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The
 stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one _______
 allowed per passenger."
 
 2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall The one turns to the other and
 says "____!"
 
 3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in
 the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't
 ____ _____ ____ ___ _____ __ __.
 
 4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other
 says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm _______."
 
 5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
 canal? His goal: ______ ________ _______.
 
 6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing
 in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about
 an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
 
 "But why?", they asked, as they moved off.
 
 "Because," he said," I can't stand ____-___ ______ __ __ ______ ____."
 
 7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.
 
 One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other
 goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan. " Years later, Juan
 sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the
 picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture
 of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've ____
_____ ___'_ ____ _____."
 
 8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they
 opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to
 buy flowers from the men of God, a ! rival florist across town thought
 the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down,
 but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They
 ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest
 and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close.
 
 Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if
 they didn't close up shop.
 
 Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that ___ ____ ___ ________
 ____ ____.
 
 9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
 produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
 little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered
 from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) a
 ____ ________ ______ ____ __ ___ _____.
 
 10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to
 friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them
 laugh. No ___ __ ___ ___.